Bullying is your problem

 





        When I was in school, I frequently found myself the object of bullying.   In grade school, it was blaming so that the guilty party would go unpunished.  I was frequently blamed and I was too timid and shy to defend myself.  As a result, I often took the blame for the rest of the class when misdeed occurred; I frequently had a place on the "naughty bench" as it was called in my school.  At other times, I have been pushed off swings, called mean names, or punched because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Eventually, a seasoned teacher and principal realized what was happening and put an end to the bullying.

         In high school, I again found myself the object of hostility, not by many but by a few.  One person threatened me to the point I would walk the long way to classes if I could avoid her.  I was hit and kicked by this person only because she could.  With others, it was more verbal than physical bullying.

        As a result, I learned how to fade into the woodwork.  I became invisible to most people.
   
        I know I am not the only one who has ever been bullied, and I'm not likely to be the last.  However, I recently watched a video of one student bullying another student, and it jostled memories that I thought I had hidden away.

         No, I'm not bitter, but I do want to offer some suggestions for handling bullies.   Aggressive people exist not just in schools; although that is where we hear about it most often.  It can happen in families especially with more and more blended families.  It can happen as adults at work.

        This sounds funny, but we know it happens.  It may not be physical, but it may come out as blaming your mistakes on others, putting a coworker down.  Often, it hurts more as an adult because we feel as though it should have been left in school; and it's harder to get help because you're an adult, you should handle your own problems.

         So here are some things to remember.

• The problem with bullying is that the bully rarely targets more than one person.  To everyone else,  they will be sugar and cream. In fact, the bully will try to convince others that it was really your fault.  So, if someone says they are being abused whether it's an adult, or a child, believe them.  
• Bullying is your problem.  In hindsight, I realize that others had the power to put an end to the bullying that was occurring.  They knew it was happening but they remained silent.  When we remain silent, the bully is given the signal that it's ok.  So speak out, especially if there are a few of you.  There is strength in numbers, and the bully will realize that they are outnumbered.  God calls us to defend the weak.  Bullies often choose someone they see as weak or someone who will not fight back to prey upon.  The weak person needs you to speak out and defend them.  This is especially true as an adult.  If you see bullying, call it what it is and don't be afraid to speak out.  Your voice may give others the courage to speak out as well.  I know it's easier to say "they aren't bothering me, so it's not my problem" that it is to say "I'm not going to let you be aggressive, and you'll have to stop.  But, God never said doing the right thing is easy; just worth it.

One more thing if you are being bullied, and no one steps up to defend you, you can be sure that God sees and he will come to your defense.  He will take up your cause and those who were bullying will eventually reap what they have sown.