Recently, I read this article "I Waited Until My Wedding Night and I Wish I Hadn't." As I read it, my heart broke. This young lady obviously did not get the whole message as she was growing up about WHY sex is saved for marriage. She has some misconceptions.
First, she is putting all sex in the same bag and calling it all "sinful and dirty." Nothing is farther from the truth. While we are encouraged to "abstain from sexual immorality", I would like to add that applies to unfaithfulness in a marriage as well as promiscuity. Sex in a marriage is beautiful and encouraged. It was instituted before Adam and Eve sinned that means it was good not bad as this young lady believes.
Secondly, she says she was taught she would "go to hell" if she had premarital sex. There is absolutely no place in the scriptures that says "you are doomed and condemned if you have sex before you are married." When Jesus talked with the woman at the well, he did not condemn her. Instead, he said "Go and sin no more." That's it! All he ever said to her was stop sinning. It wasn't the end of the world for this woman and it's not for us either.
Third, she says "it was only her responsibility to remain pure." In this case she is right and wrong. Sexual purity is always an individual responsibility and decision. You cannot make this decision for anyone else, so yes in reality her sexual purity was indeed her responsibility and not the responsibility of anyone else. She is wrong in assuming that her partner should have no responsibility for this in his own life as well. No in scripture does it teach that sexual purity is only for women. Sorry, it just isn't there.
Fourth, she equates a sexual act with love. Love may encompass the sexual act but it is far greater than the sexual act. Animals have sex all the time and it is never accompanied by love. Love goes beyond a sexual act and if the only reason you marry a person is because they are "good in bed that is extremely shallow and not love at all. I would ask this person, "What happens if you marry a person because they fulfill you sexually and at some point, they no longer fill that need?"
I have heard others say in reference to having premarital sex "it's ok to 'test drive' the vehicle. Really? Your boyfriend/girlfriend is not a car. Hello!! They are a person and should never be degraded to the status of a thing. Sex is a precious and valuable gift and should not be squandered and should always have love as a prerequisite.
Do I believe sex young men and women should wait to have sex until they are married? I will answer with a resounding yes. This young ladies' problem is that she had the wrong reason why she should wait for marriage to have sex. See, in my opinion there is only one reason good enough for you to wait until married; your love for God. So yes wait for marriage to have sex not because your parents, or all your friends, or even your church wants you to wait. Do it because you love God soooooo much that you can not bear to disappoint him.