Monday, July 7, 2014

Letting Go




As my children have gotten older, I find I have a new struggle, letting go.  These young adults that consumed hours of my time when they were young are now grown and ready to be on their own.  They don’t need a parent.  Sometimes, if I’m honest, I’m not ready for them to be on their own….. I want them to need me.  There is a part of me that still wants to nurture and protect them.  Some days as I watch them struggle in their life, everything in me wants to come to their aid and shield them from these problems.  As I was lamenting over this with a friend the other day, she reminded me that it is similar to when they are babies and learning to walk for the first time. We watch nervously and joyfully as they try to walk.  We guide them and encourage them.  As adults, they may fall, they may make bad decisions but we shouldn’t discourage them from making their own choices and being on their own because they may fall.    I wonder if what we know as young parents teaching our children to walk we forget as they become adults.   Our job, as they get older, is to encourage, guide and pray for them.  Yes, I’m learning to walk by faith in this area because now they are not at home so I can’t always know they’re making good decisions. I don’t always get to see their spiritual walk so I have to trust that I have taught them well.  As a parent, this is where I struggle.  I don’t always see myself as having done a good job teaching my children.   I am learning to trust God to know what’s best for them.  So yes, right now I feel like I felt as a young parent when I would watch my children take those first few steps as a toddler excited yet nervous because you know there is always the potential that they will fall and get hurt.  I am resting on the fact that I have taught my children to love and reverence God and that the God I serve also love them way more than I do and he will protect them and care for them even if that means taking a tumble so they will trust him more.  I also remind myself daily that they are doing exactly what God planned for them to do…. grow and be responsible and NOT dependent on mom and dad.