You Might a Cheapskate If.....

You might a cheapskate if ....

You dumpster dive for food so that you don't have to buy food. Dumpster diving is only acceptable if, and only if, your bank account is at or below zero and you have not eaten for a day.
You shower with your clothes on, so they get washed when you shower. Again, this does not count as washing your clothes and should only be done IF the washer quits working
You only buy one meal and ask for two plates when you are on a date. Ladies, if a guy takes you to a restaurant and only buys one dinner for the two of you it better be humongous. If it isn't run for the exit door.
You dry out wet paper towels so you can reuse them. Reusing paper towels is completely unacceptable. Suck it up buttercup and buy more paper towels.
You coast your car down hills to save gas. Anyone who tries this, they are foolhardy. I wouldn't ride with them. Most new cars won't even let you do this, and if you can I do not want to know how it is done.
The thermometer in your house is set for fifty. Brrrr. One should not get frostbite if they come to visit you. Do the rest of us a favor and turn up the heat a little.
During the winter, you turn your freezer off and set your food outside. You can do this, if you want but if wild animals, not the neighborhood kids, start hanging around outside your door don't say we didn't warn you.
You argue with the cashier about a five cent difference on an item. This is in bad taste, and it wastes more time than what you save. Just let it go.
You eat pet food because it's cheaper. This is completely unacceptable. Yes, some say it is better than people food, but it is pet food. Please don't gross the rest of us out; please do not serve it to your friends.
The drive home from work took longer because you stopped to pick up roadkill to put in the freezer. No, No, No, roadkill is never to be considered food unless it's a six point buck and you hit it with your car then it's fair game.
You do not use toilet paper. Ummm eeeew!!!! Bite the bullet and buy the TP. This is especially true if I'm coming for a visit.
You turn off the hot water tank. Turn on the hot water tank. Hot water does a better job of cleaning. Use the shower too! No, trying to save money by doing a sponge bath or a perfume/ cologne bath. Trust me, this does not count as a bath. No rain or snow barrels either! Ok, I'm tempted on that one. Nah, not really.
Finally, Your wardrobe is Salvation Army reject. There's a reason why even the people that shop at the Salvation Army didn't want those clothes. This is acceptable if you have nothing to wear and no money.

I hope these made you smile. The ugly truth is that most of us have done some of these on occasion, or at least I have. We just recently went without hot water for a month because Our hot water tank broke and we needed to save some money for a new one. Hopefully you have not done too many of them. I know some people have no money and can't help it. Perhaps someone didn't tell you you needed TP, so you ran out. I am not thinking of the people who have no choice; I am thinking of the people who have a choice. They actually have money but live as though they have none. Living like a pauper when you have money may be as much of a sin and riotous wasteful living. One is loving money, and the other is loving things. We are either wasting opportunities glorify God, and to help others with our money; or we are wasting the resources God has given us. What will God say when we stand before him?

Live Fearlessly

As I was driving home today, I passed a person walking on the side of the road. Since it was cold, and snowy, I thought I should stop and offer the person a ride. As I drove on by, I was irritated with myself for not stopping. I could have and should have but I didn't. Why? I was scared! Maybe that wouldn't bother you, but I'm willing to bet there are things that make you afraid. It may be snakes or spiders that send the ticker into overdrive. Or maybe it's your job and finances that keep you up at night when you should be resting. Then again perhaps it's relationships that consume your thoughts and energy. As followers of God, we know that we are told not to be afraid. Yet we often are afraid despite everything we know. As I was driving away from a missed opportunity, I began thinking about what it is that makes us afraid. I honestly am not sure what it is that causes us to be afraid when we should be bold, but I

Tragedy: A Christian Response

I want to start by telling you a story. We were new parents. When Our oldest, a son, was about eighteen to twenty months we had another baby, a girl with brown hair and huge eyes. One day as I went to feed her, my son who may have been two at the time wandered off to another part of the house. The next thing I heard was a thud. I grabbed my baby girl and ran to see what happened. There was my son with a table on top of him. He had pulled it over on himself and more blood than I had ever seen was running all over. We put him in the car and dashed for the ER. It was not a fun trip. He had a skull fracture and many stitches. Fast forward about fourteen or fifteen years, I’m at a stop light and watch my youngest daughter about ten start across a street on a bike start across a street just as a truck comes around a corner into the path of the bike. She hit the side of the truck and bounced onto the road. I grabbed her up and checked her over there were no injuries, but

Just A Word of Praise!!

On Sunday, after church, we went to a town about thirty minutes away. On the way we drove through an area where they were working on the road. It was no big deal. We had lunch, bought some food for the week, and drove back home. Later, as we were on our way to church for the evening service, I heard the ominous flapping sound that a tire makes when it’s flat. Yikes! I pulled over and while I was debating how I was going to change a tire. A car coming in the opposite direction drove by and stopped. As the driver appeared from the vehicle, I recognized him as a neighbor and fellow believer. He approached the car, and asked if I had an air compressor to inflate the tire. My answer, “Yes, but I’m not sure how good it is. I’ve never actually managed to inflate a tire using it. I may not be using it properly.” I produced it from the trunk of the car and handed it to him. Within a few minutes, he had it hooked up and running. As it turned out, I was using it properly,

Inspirations

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